As you might remember I didn't have New Year's Resolutions per se, I just wanted to be happier and more content with myself, and gosh darn it I kept that positivity for a good three weeks before I started getting bogged down with school, workouts, finding a church, etc. Then all the frustration started again and the well intentioned positivity began to leave.
But that ends today!
Today I tried a new church, and while I wish I could tell you that I really liked it and plan on going back, I can't. It really wasn't my style: very big, broadcasts to several "campuses", etc. However, the message this morning was on Love. Plain and simple. Love. Love for yourself, love for others, love for the Lord. Love, Love, Love! He said that we can't move forward until we get rid of all the "pollution" that surrounds our hearts - Bitterness, Self-Centeredness, and Worldly Distractions. Only after we get rid of those can we love with our whole hearts.
Somewhere between the last song and the benediction it hit me:
How can I fully love if I don't love myself first!
It seems so simple, but so hard to grasp - especially since I'm very quick to point out my flaws but very slow to acknowledge my positives. I have to start believing what the title of my blog says, I'm "not perfect, but worth it!" This isn't going to happen overnight, but it's something I want to work towards. As I left the church today, I was re energized! While I didn't feel like God found me during the service he definitely found me in the parking lot!
It's amazing how much better the day goes when take on a new attitude - and it didn't hurt that it was 72 degrees here today :) I decided to take my workout outside today and run at a nearby park. The park has two mapped out courses: a 5k and an 8k, and since I was feeling so good about myself, I decided to take on the 8k, since I've never done one before. So today was the "Island Girl First Annual 8k race for...um...well...fill in the blank". It was beautiful. While I'm not much of an "outdoors" person past, you know, the beach, this course went back through the woods and curved near a lake, and was just beautiful! I ran the entire thing and only stopped once - to tie my shoe :) Woohoo!
So now, here I sit. On my porch watching the sun set and feeling content for the first time in a long time :)
6 comments:
Oh that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you. :) I've gone through the exact same thing, and it's really amazing what happens when you really do love yourself. After my recent events, I'm trying to get back into that mindset because I think I lost it - and myself - somewhere along the way. Thank you for being so inspiring! I hope the good vibes continue for you, and I will some extra your way. ;)
I love it when I go to church and the message is just so clearly for me.
Thanks for sharing this post... I am inspired.
And just a wee jealous that you get to enjoy those amazing sunsets ")
Julie
That is so good to hear!! So glad that you had a great day! I want that weather :-)
I'm so jealous! So glad you had a good day, though! Miss you as usual! Love!
Good for you! I have the same problem. I always doubt myself and have lots of negative self talk. Church definitely makes a difference.
So I wrote a "U-Turn List" and I'm on my way to marking some things off. Stop by and read it if you get the chance. I think it can be really helpful to young people who find fear, self doubt and negative self talk controlling their lives.
Have a GREAT week!
That's a great message. I struggle with that all the time. I'm the first to point out my faults- even if I know no one else will ever notice.
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