Careful What You Wish For...

I've been a bad blogger. I've had Internet since last Thursday, but I just haven't felt like writing. Sorry. Please forgive me.

I had planned to tell you about my Spring Break; how I went horseback riding (my mom's horse almost walked her off a cliff), went on a Hummer tour (island girl doesn't normally do mud), ate terribly but only gained 5 ounces (score) and how I was very productive on the job hunt. But that all seems so uninteresting now.

As I'm sure Classy is sick of hearing, I went on a date Friday night with a guy from college. While I've kinda known he was interested, I wasn't AT ALL expecting to see him over break, but when he asked if I was free and he was willing to drive the two hours to see me, I agreed. Long story short - Dinner and a movie followed by coffee. Over coffee he told me that he liked me, a lot and that of all the girls he has gone on dates with over the past year, none of them compare to me. He said that his biggest regret in life is that he didn't date me in college and that he still gets mad at himself about it. Now I'm not used to these kinds of feelings from guys, I'm just not...I'm usually the one pouring my heart out. He told me that his timing was terrible and that he didn't want to limit me or make my decision any harder in terms of where to move, but of all the places he knew I was looking at, he could move there and be happy. Quoi?

Anyway, I explained that I had no idea where I was going to be or what I was going to be doing in a year, and that it is going to be a hard enough decision trying to stay close to my friends and family, much less throw someone else's life on top of it. We agreed to "see where we are in a year" and go from there. Here's the problem: I can't stop thinking about the whole thing. I've cried off and on for three days now. I feel like an idiot, but I just can't help it. Even though he promised that our friendship wouldn't change, his normal text messages and emails have pretty much stopped. I don't think he realized how much I counted on talking to him.

Next problem: he isn't the most motivated person I know. My Dad values hard work. See the problem. Now keep in mind that Daddy has never met him, but knows about him and in true Daddy-with-an-only-daughter fashion, doesn't think he's good enough. So now I'm not sure how I feel about boy - I'm worried my parents opinion has influenced me so much that I've put my feelings behind me. Do you remember the Faith Hill song, "Someone Else's Dream"? Well this portion sums up my current situation to a T:

She was daddy's little girl

Momma's little angel

Teacher's pet, pageant queen

She said "All my life I've been pleasin' everyone but me...

Yep, that's about covers it! So now I'm not sure if I just want to be in a relationship or if I want to be in a relationship with him. If he lived closer, this would be easier, but the 6 hour distance thing makes it hard...very hard. Needless to say, God and I have had some very long talks over the past few days! I guess this is what happens when you think you've got a handle on your life plan :)