Through the Years...

Nostalgia sets in for me around Christmas time. As I helped my Mom take down our Christmas tree last night, I was reminded of so many specific times in my life. Each ornament had a past and a story to tell. Since I wasn't home when the tree was being decorated, my time to reflect came as it was coming down.

There were a few ornaments that represented my first dog who passed away two years ago this April. There were the horrible handmade ornaments I made in pre-school that my Mom still feels the need to hang on the tree (and in all honesty, I'd miss if they weren't there). My Grandmother had started a series of ornaments for us years ago, and as much as I've complained about finding the right box for each of them over the years, I'd give anything for her to be here continuing that series. But as quickly as they went up, they are now coming down to live another year in storage.

This Christmas was wonderful. I love spending time with my family. I love visiting my Meme and Papa in Charlotte. I wish I could bottle the feeling I have on Christmas day and save it for the times throughout the year when I need a pick me up.

However, for the first time every, I realized my Meme and Papa have gotten old. This may sound strange, but the mind plays tricks on you, and in my 24 years, I've always seen them the same way I did when I was young - energetic, lively, etc. Now don't get me wrong, they are still that way. For their age, their doing well above average, I'm just not ready for that to change. My Meme hair is almost completely white, but she's still beautiful. My Papa, however, is who I'm most worried about. His memory is going and it scares me. The doctors say "oh it's just old age" but when you have to remind someone to put on their shoes, it's not old age. He is also becoming increasingly negative - to the point that people don't want to be around him, and it breaks my heart. He has to be told the same thing over and over again, and if he doesn't write it down or do it right then, he'll forget again. I can't even make myself discuss what the problem might be - I just can't. My Meme doesn't know what to do and breaks down in tears just talking about it, and she doesn't cry very easily. They have been married for 53 years and have the kind of love that I hope to find one day, so watching her deteriorate with him is even harder to watch.

Now that the tree is down and the decorations are put away, it's time to focus on the new semester and the New Year. I'm ready for it all. I'm ready to start something new and get back in the swing of things back home. The strange thing is the longer I'm away from Alabama, the more I want to get back there....my how things change.