In a Perfect World...

"I keep telling myself I'm movin' on, But I'm stumbling, Believin' my heart was strong enough, but now I'm wonderin', every step I take that leads me away, Just circles back to your door, Wishin' I didn't love you anymore..."

This weekend was great! I got to go home and see some of my absolute favorite people (some of which I hadn't seen in months and in some cases years!), my college team won a huge game they weren't expected to win, and I got a new book...all of these things make me extremely happy. So why do I feel like running down to my nearest grocery store and shoving my head into a package of cookie dough and a half gallon of ice cream? Could it be that once again I get to see everyone that I miss so much and realize that I'll never get go back to the best time (so far) of my life? Could it be that the guy that inspired the above song lyrics sporadically comes in and out of my life, thus making it extremely hard to fully get over him? Could it be a combination of all these things? I think so!

Everything is changing; I know this, it's been changing for a while. I thought I was getting better with it, and in many ways I think I am. However, I'm also scared. Pretty soon the occasions that bring all my friends together (weddings, homecomings, etc.) are going to become fewer and fewer, and then what? Do I just lose contact with the people that mean so much to me? I guess I'm really only talking about one person here, because everyone else actually keeps in contact either by phone or facebook. I just don't know. Maybe it would be better for me if he did just disappear like he's so good at, because when I see him I have to start at square one again.

In a perfect world, I would move about 5 people into my city or somewhere else...I'm not picky. That way, we would all be close and near each other, while also able to lead our own lives. Yeah, that would be perfect. I really thought I was over this nostalgia, but apparently it comes in waves, and you never know when it's going to hit.